I am not an expert on legal planning and so my first recommendation has to be to schedule an appointment with your lawyer, an elder lawyer, or financial planner as you gather up your legal papers and prepare for a visit. You want everything laid and and smooth for the future with matters concerning health decisions, financial expectations, and final wishes. Letting family know now, when you are of sound mind and body, alleviates problems and confusion in the future.
Many families have Powers of Attorney in order, however, sometimes possibilities are not considered such as moving to another state (when sometimes legal papers do not cross state lines) or changes in family status or finances. Such documents need to be reviewed each year so that everyone is current on future plans.
It is also important that should you become incapacitated, unable to control your own destiny, other may step in with their demands. For example, if you have listed "no heroic measures" are to be undertaken to save your life when it is ready to be complete, a spouse or child may decided s/he is not ready and thus a life may be prolonged while legal and medical matters are sorted out.
In your desire to make everything fair, often this is impossible. Everyone has a slightly different description of "fair". Sue gets Grand-dad's old car - valuable but something she has no interest in preserving - while Alex receives a hefty check. While the two are of apparent equal value one is a potential pay-out while the other has immediate cash value. Suppose Sue wants to sell the old-mobile but the family sends a flurries of "No!" It is hers to sell but at what price in relationships?
After your visit with counsel, you'll have a better idea of how to divide your estate and estate responsibilities evenly. You also need to communicate this orally or in writing in advance. No surprises may prevent at least some potential squabbles when you can longer speak up.
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