Treating People Like VIPs

We all liked to feel valued - important - knowledgeable - a part of something - a voice with family and friends. This value carries over to those with Alzheimer's disease or other dementias. I know it is easy to chat over and around someone who does not appear to understand or to be actively involved in the conversation, but I also recognize that this is absolutely wrong. Inclusion is vital to good physical and mental health.
A recommendation from the Bravo Zulu presentation I attended is treating others like VIPs:
V - valuing their personhood, our relationship and their extended relationships, and their cultural identity;
I - treating people as unique individuals;
P - looking at the world from the perspective of that person;
S - providing a positive and supportive social environment. (Brooker, 2007)
In reality, shouldn't these simple steps be the way that we interact with everyone. From infancy through adulthood, it is nice to have a sense of belonging.

Relationship-Centered Dementia Care

I am currently a participant in a course offered by Jennifer Carson, PhD, who is with the Sanford Center for Aging at UNR. Called "Bravo Zulu" as it was first intended for members of the military and their families, the topic and information are applicable to everyone serving as care giver or care recipient.
A first step in relationship-centered care is knowing and understanding the loved one with dementia and above all, making him/her an active member of the caregiving planning team. Few people like decisions foisted upon them without a shred of input, and that is true of those with dementia. Understanding of culture and cultural background is key to helping understand how needs can best be met and by offering solutions that match the values and wants of each individual.
Military families as a focus helps attendees better understand culture as the military entails strict rules and protocols especially focused on being tough and never asking for help. Breaking down, or at least chipping some holes in the "no-need-for-assistance" barrier, means that a loved one in need can receive care and advice that benefit good health and healthy living.
It is important in the military culture - just as in every culture - to begin by accepting that military is a general term and that Army, Air Force, Navy, Coast Guard, and Marines are specific. Each branch has a unique creed and mission. Not all military are infantrymen or sailors, just as every person is an individual. Relationship-centered care requires that caregivers fashion care around the concerns and desires of an individualized life history made up of experiences, events, and relationships.

The Holidays Approach

With some big holidays arriving soon it is important to be prepared to make each event wonderful, safe, and satisfying for everyone, especially a loved one with Alzheimer's disease or other dementia. Even though an individual may appear lost, befuddled, and anxious, s/he still can benefit greatly from  the love and camaraderie of family and friends. A few hints include:
1. Plan events for the late morning or early afternoon. This allows plenty of wake-up time plus lots of light to avoid confusion.
2. Determine a quiet spot in your home so that your loved one can be surrounded by those who care, but just a few at a time. Even noisy little ones add joy - but in small doses with rambunctiousness at a minimum.
3. Create a menu of your loved one's favorite dishes, taking under consideration items that come in small bites. A few specialties are perfect - too  many may add to angst as decision-making may be tough.
4. Decide where a nap can occur, if necessary. This should be in a quiet area with adequate lighting to avoid potential mix-up in where your loved one is should s/he suddenly awaken. Move a chair, pillows, or soft objects next to the bed or couch in case your loved one should decide to roll. Be sure to check periodically that a peaceful rest is unfolding.
5. Select photo albums or create a slide show to share past events and memories with all of the family, especially designed with your loved one with dementia in mind.
6. Encourage all attendees to be kind and gentle, to assist but not to overwhelm, to help but not demean. Some folks will not be able to deal with this cognitive decline. Help them understand that the same person resides within but it is hard for him/her to engage as in the past.
Love makes a difference!