50 First Dates - ADF Movie Launch

            Age- and Dementia-Friendly Winnemucca had the launch of its movie series with the presentation of 50 First Dates at Park Cinemas. With movies focused on forgetfulness, brain injury, PTSD, dementia, and Alzheimer’s disease, our team members are seeking ways to educate our community about behaviors, attitudes, misunderstandings, and misinterpretations about cognitive decline in an open atmosphere of learning. One of our crew members received a Facebook comment questioning why we would be showing 50 First Dates, a film focused on traumatic brain injury, when someone in attendance, a loved one, or a caregiver might be present who might be experiencing such a decline. Well, that’s the point. If we discuss confusion, forgetfulness, every day/hour/minute becoming a new moment or repetitive moment in life that disregards connections of instances that took place just beforehand, we can better support a loved one who has mental challenges or difficulty.

            As I have mentioned to many, I had no idea that Adam Sandler could portray such a kind and sensitive role as he does in this movie – loving Drew Barrymore regardless of her memory loss and daily replication of life. I admire the loving reactions of her father to ease her stress about forgetting. One of the most profound statements reflects Sandler’s belief that every kiss should be just like the first one – sweet, tender, honest, committed. I go beyond that with every sunrise and sunset, every encounter and discussion, every hug and utterance, should be as rich and as meaningful as the first. Sandler the philosopher – wow! I would have never imagined.

            In chatting with Lowry Cheer who heads up our annual Tie-One-On event for Alzheimer’s Awareness I mentioned the movie, 20 First Dates. Puzzled faces then asked, “You mean 50?” Yep, I let them know that I had simply forgotten 30 of those dates. I have to laugh at my own absentmindedness that invades from time to time.

Appreciating Culture

Another key element of the Bravo Zulu presentation that I have been writing about is appreciating culture. While the initial focus of the presentation is on the various cultures of the branches of the military, as I listened I constantly thought about the multitude of cultures we each encounter every day: family, rank order in a family, an adoptive or in-law relationship family, co-worker family, church family, social organization networks... The list could extend forever.
While often we gravitate toward cultures that reflect our own truths and beliefs, this is not always possible. Take work for example. While every employee may be headed for the same goal, there are lots of ways to get there, numerous interpretations of products and events, and extensive differences in perspectives and opinions. Roughly gathered backgrounds can work as a strengthening force or as a detrimental one. The strengthening comes from listening to and respecting the ideas of others while feeling that one's own ideas are accepted as well. Listened to, modified, adjusted, and redesigned, a strong group compromises to attain optimal results.
If, however, the group is so seeped in individualism and a lack of ability to consider and evaluate other potentials, the efforts will most likely be detrimental to progress. An inability to think about and reflect on a variety of possibilities inhibits their exposure and growth. A good leader works to advance approaches that vary but have similar objectives; an inept or insecure leader guides through authoritarian practices and disdain for others input.
Our individual culture reflects our attitudes, beliefs, behaviors, and values; our functioning group culture amalgamates and combines, divides, multiplies, and introduces other analytical functions to create a best case scenario. Groups that stomp, moan, berate, and accept nothing but its own culture rarely achieve long-lasting success.
And so it is within family dynamics. The family who works as a team to confront and solve issues or problems is far more likely to achieve success than one that falls into the pit of negativity and disgust of others.