Care and Trust...continued

Often, those with dementia become wanderers. A familiar stroll around the neighborhood can turn into a misadventure as steps become jumbled and surroundings become strange. This is even worse, of course, when it comes to driving. Those with dementia still want to be independent and driving is of supreme importance. After all, when a license is removed, the opportunity for freedom and social interaction diminishes creating isolation, dependence, and depression.  A good conversation includes these concerns and also potential remedies such as a walking partner or driving services. I also recommend that families contact law enforcement about concerns so that officers can learn walking routines of one who may become lost. A GPS device for shoes and/or an identification bracelet with an emergency number engraved on one side and the health concern on the other are vital.

            I recommend that beginning at age 50, people hold a yearly summit about worries, finances, health issues, purchases, and other transactions. By maintaining an open conversation, when problems do arise, much is already out in the open. No, you do not need to divulge deep secrets, precise monetary subjects, or other private material, but honest talk now alleviates some stress of burdensome conversations later. Perhaps spouses, children, and other significant relations may not agree, but at least they are fully aware of wishes and requests. In later family gatherings, if dementia has appeared, realize that your loved one may not be able to assess multi-step processes and questions. A little at a time, a few subjects on the table, will provide the most positive results. “To be continued” is recommended.

            This should probably have come at the beginning, however, I wanted to emphasize the worthiness of building trust and personal reliability. Hopefully your loved has recognized some cognitive decline – forgetting dates, losing valuables, feeling perplexed about decisions – and has already suggested a complete medical examination by a neurologist or gerontologist. Self-analysis is undoubtedly the best way to pursue the most beneficial health diagnoses. But sometimes, denial is far easier and so you, as the caring and devoted family member, may be the one to broach this somewhat uncomfortable conversation. Knowing that an abrupt refusal may greet you, plunge on accepting that your concern is of utmost significance.